When is this going to stop??

This reaction is coming a week later because after the Connecticut tragedy my mind was too numb to react or even read about the gang rape in Delhi. Now for the first time I feel that I do not want to associate with the culture which treats women this way. I am very proud of my Indian heritage and culture. I grew up with the values and morals which guide me every day of my life. But when I started thinking back about how women are treated in India a few things stood out.  We all grew up listening to the Mahabharata story of attempted rape of Draupadi. In the majority of the Bollywood movies we witnessed the heroin almost getting raped by a villain and his gang. In both these cases the hero comes and rescues the woman. But do these scenes normalize rape as part of the culture? We must be the biggest hypocrites when it comes to treating the women. We worship goddesses like Laxmi, Durga and Kali. At the same time we do not teach our boys and men to respect their sisters, mothers and every other woman they come across. The message to our men is- you are not man enough if you cannot dominate a woman, mentally and/or physically. It does not matter how highly educated a woman is, she is still expected to listen to her husband and her in-laws. Domestic violence is the norm. Women prefer to stay in the marriage in spite of physical, financial and mental abuse because they do not have support of their parents, relatives and the society. What kind of values are these? I know some women who are brave enough to get divorce but they are still wearing their mangalsutra. Why? Because then other men would not take their advantage. How sad is this? I have experienced sexual harassment on the streets of Pune and I am sure every one of my fellow women did too, no matter where they live in India. It comes in the form of dirty comments, unnecessary and inappropriate touching in the bus, train and streets and the prying eyes. And do we ever talk about this in public? Hell NO!

When are we going to tell our men that women are not their property? When are we going to teach them that we are the same species with some pluses and minuses on both sides? You guys are physically stronger but we are mentally stronger than you even though we cry often. If not for us we would not have human race. When are we going to teach our boys that it is not acceptable to devalue, denigrate and objectify women? 

We also need to teach our girls and women to stand up against any kind of aggression, to have self-respect, self- recognition and self-esteem. The girls are groomed to be “Aadarsh Bhartiya Nari”   ( An ideal Indian woman). How come there is never a talk about “Aadarsh Bhartiya Nar”( Ideal Indian man)??  The parents teach their daughters to keep a low profile, follow the orders of the elderly and keep everyone happy. We are not supposed to talk back or raise our voice against anything.  The society puts a lot of pressure and unnecessary restrains on the girls while growing up and it continues throughout their lives. The justification for this is that they are doing it because they want to protect us from the evils of the society. But how about addressing the evil itself? What are the steps taken in that respect? In India the majority men still think that women do not deserve equal treatment and they are on this earth just to serve men. Is this how it should be? Should this continue? When I searched for India rapes on the New York Times website there were hundreds of entries about rapes in India. The most recent rape is 2 days after the Delhi incident. The percentage is growing yearly. This is outrageous and unacceptable. Are we going to sit down and take it? Where is the honor of the men in India? Where is their integrity? Rape is even more serious than homicide because the victim is living it every day, the rest of her life.  When are we going to see an end to this heinous crime???